Childproof Fury Unleashed

Sealed in a sarcophagus of plastic and lies,

A fortress of clamshell, mocking my eyes.

No scissors can bite, no blade can divide,

A simple toy trapped with nowhere to hide.

My thumbs are just pulp, the edges are glass,

A test of endurance that no man shall pass!

Just let me open it! (Open it!)

Just let me open it! (Break the seal!)

Just let me open it! (Before I lose it!)

Just let me open it! (Let me in!)

Now the bottle of relief, the twist and the push,

A mechanical puzzle designed by a bush!

Seven years of training just to take a pill,

The cap is a master of friction and will.

Push down! Turn left! The plastic just laughs!

My sanity broken in multiple halves!

Just let me open it! (Open it!)

Just let me open it! (Break the seal!)

Just let me open it! (Before I lose it!)

Just let me open it! (Let me in!)

I can see the relief... I can see the prize...

Beyond the plastic... through tired eyes...

It's right there... just a hair's breadth away...

Why must you torture me this way?!

Just let me open it! (Open it!)

Just let me open it! (Break the seal!)

Just let me open it! (Before I lose it!)

Just let me open it! (Let me in!)

Let me in!

Just... let me open it.

(Ugh.)