Carthart Chaos Boogie

Down the frozen food and past the dairy,

The way this thing is drifting's frankly scary!

One wheel points to Tuesday, one points left,

Of all my sanity it's surely bereft.

I try to steer it straight toward the kale,

But it’s heading for a mountain of ginger ale!

It's a rogue machine, a metal-plated ghost,

Heading for the bread and the Sunday roast!

Catch that cart! Catch that cart!

It’s ripping my dignity apart!

Catch that cart! Catch that cart!

Before it breaks my rhythmic heart!

Old Mrs. Gable with her coupons in hand,

Didn't expect to see me make a crash-landing.

Through the organic pickles and the artisan jam,

I'm shouting ‘Pardon!’ and ‘Oh, here I am!’

The left wheel is wobbling like a dancer in pain,

While the right one is whispering 'I'm insane!'

It's a vendetta in chrome and a basket of wire,

Setting the cereal aisle completely on fire!

Catch that cart! Catch that cart!

It’s ripping my dignity apart!

Catch that cart! Catch that cart!

Before it breaks my rhythmic heart!

The wheels go round and round... and sideways too.

I think it’s mocking me... what should I do?

It’s gaining speed! It’s heading for the check-out!

I’m trapped in this spin, there’s no way to get out!

Wait, is that the exit? Oh no, please... stop!

Catch that cart! Catch that cart!

It’s ripping my dignity apart!

Catch that cart! Catch that cart!

Before it breaks my rhythmic heart!

(Hey! Catch it!)

(Watch out for that display!)

Catch that cart! Catch that cart!

I think it’s gone... into the parking lot.

I... I don't think I can run anymore.

Just... leave it. Someone else can have it.

I’m just gonna... walk home.