Wobbly Wheel To Hell

Strollin' down the aisle, lookin' for a deal,

Didn't see the terror in that one locked wheel.

It's veer-in' to the left, it's pull-in' to the right,

Turnin' my Sunday into a holy fight!

I'm dodgin' the displays, I'm smashin' through the bread,

While mechanical madness is fillin' my head!

It's got a mind of its own, it's possessin' the floor,

I can't find the yogurt and I can't find the door!

Wobbly wheel! Take me to Hell!

Wobbly wheel! Ring the death knell!

Wobbly wheel! Draggin' me down!

The twistedest metal in this whole town!

Wobbly wheel! Take me to Hell!

Wobbly wheel! Can't you tell!

Wobbly wheel! The friction is real!

I'm losin' my grip on this jagged wheel!

The linoleum is burnin', the axle is bent,

I'm wonderin' where the last of my sanity went!

It's screamin' like a banshee on a chrome-plated frame,

This isn't just shoppin', this is psychological warfare and pain!

I try to swap it out, but it's holdin' its ground,

The most evil contraption that I've ever found!

No milk in the basket, just sweat on my brow,

I'm battlin' a demon and I'm doin' it now!

Wobbly wheel! Take me to Hell!

Wobbly wheel! Ring the death knell!

Wobbly wheel! Draggin' me down!

The twistedest metal in this whole town!

Wobbly wheel! Take me to Hell!

Wobbly wheel! Can't you tell!

Wobbly wheel! The friction is real!

I'm losin' my grip on this jagged wheel!

Wobbly wheel... take me to... Hell!

Just take me... to Hell!

(Aaaaarrrrggghhh!)

Take me... away!